Simply Ben Glenn | The Simple ADHD Expert

“Don’t worry, be happy” hits close to home for ADDers, too. Unfortunately, we’re really good at taking a small worry and blowing it out of proportion. It’s one more way for us to let our focus stray from what’s important. Kind of like stressing over forgetting my lunch when I walk out of the house in my boxers. Not that that’s ever happened. Promise.

When you have a small worry, fight the urge to fall down the rabbit hole. Before you get sucked into a state of panic, try to find the brighter side of the situation.

I like to tell school assemblies, “Remember that life is a journey.”

Tomorrow will not be the same as today. Today may have its problems, but tomorrow will bring new hope and resolutions, sometimes out of the most unexpected of places.

Before I go to bed, I try to remember that I have a choice: Do I allow my worries to overwhelm me, or do I choose joy and move forward? Every night, I want to choose to move forward, even it means asking for help. I don’t want my circumstances to dictate my choices for me.

So, make sure to stay in control. Don’t let your creative imagination blow a hamster-sized struggle into a Godzilla-sized one. Happiness a lot bigger than worries. It was true in ’88, and it’s true in ’09.

All of their responses were something like, “I just needed to try.”

Before coming on the show, instead dazzling audiences, these uniquely blessed and talented singers sold cell phones and delivered pizzas. They were in their 40s and let their talent sit for years, even decades. Fortunately for them, and us, they found the courage to take the leap of faith and reaped the rewards of trying.

The word ‘try’, only three letters long, can be a tough one for ADDers to swallow. We can be ultra-creative with all of the energy and enthusiasm in the world, but the reality is that we may suffer more failures than successes for a time. We may give up on trying, and all of that brilliance burns out.

In a hilarious bit, my favorite comedian Brian Regan admits that he stunk at spelling. The worst for him were spelling bees, which he says made him look stupid. Then there was always The Cool Kid in class who didn’t want to look stupid, so he would blow the first word just to get kicked out of the bee.

Teacher: “Spell ‘cat’.”

Cool Kid: “K-A-T. Alright, I’m outta here…”

And the Cool Kid struts off back to his seat. I’m sorry, but the Cool Kid is actually the one who looks stupid. While he gives up without even trying, Brian’s the cool one for trying even though he might fail (and for being an insanely brilliant comedian even though he didn’t know that when he was misspelling ‘box’).

People often tell me that they’ve always wanted to try art or speaking. One gentleman in his 50s confessed, “I’ve always wanted to try art. Watching you draw made me regret not getting into it.”

“What kept you from trying?” I asked him.

His honest answer: “I’ve always been afraid of failing; what people would think if I didn’t do something well.”

When you try, there’s always potential for failure. But how much more would you regret looking back as an old man or woman, knowing you didn’t give it a shot?

To everyone with ADHD who are weary and worried about failing: that’s part of the journey of life. You have to make the hard choices today – including the choice to try – to make tomorrow better. It’s far worse to not try and fail than fail to try.

Those personality traits don’t necessarily go across the board. There are some ADDers that are more introverted; they enjoy reading, writing, and more contemplative pursuits. But the crazy-go-wild type is more the norm.

They’re the ones that come up to me after shows and ask me everything under the sun about me, my work, my art, and my dogs. They’re also the ones who face stiff challenges in settings like the classroom. When the teacher says something, they just want to blurt out what comes to mind. Structure and quiet are not their friends.

Despite the challenges that come with ADHD, I ask you to consider taking ADHD as an opportunity to help others. Harness the joy and energy wound up inside of you and share it. Be infectious with positivity.

Since I notice every detail, I can often pick up on someone’s demeanor. I recognize facial expression, energy level, and the tone in their voice. I can see if someone is having a bad day. This is a gift; not everyone can notice all of this.

Keeping that ability in mind, I recently heard a line on the radio that spoke worlds to me: “Be kinder than you have to because everyone you meet is battling something.”

When we meet someone with a bad attitude, it’s hard not to take it personally. You want to ask, “What did I do wrong?” This is especially true in a marriage.

The key is to look past their exterior, not take their attitude personally, and infect them with the joy you have bubbling up inside. Try to get that bummed-out restaurant server to brighten up. You won’t always win them over, but when you do, it’s like winning a gold medal. It can be as simple as a smile, joke, compliment, or a good tip. You may not even see them brighten, but there’s a good chance that it will come afterwards.

On a recent flight, the nearby flight attendant was having a rough day. The tension around her was like an electric field that you could feel when she walked by. I knew I had to act.

So, during her pre-flight safety speech, I sent smiles, winks, and funny faces at her. By the end of her script, she was laughing. (disclaimer: Airline safety is no laughing matter.)

She came over to ask if I was OK. I smiled and said that I just wanted to infect her with some of my weirdness. She thanked me, and her demeanor transformed instantly. Ironically, we talked later, and it happens that her daughter had just been diagnosed with ADHD. That was certainly weighing on her heart.

You may not have to be a clown on a crowded airplane, but use your ADHD for good. Share your joy and energy. There’s plenty of need for it in this world, and we can keep going and going and going and going…