Simply Ben Glenn | The Simple ADHD Expert

Non-ADDers often see us distracted and struggling, but they don’t realize that we’re actually searching for focus and direction. Even though we have scattered brains, people with ADHD thrive on structured, laid-out projects. Every completed step is a boost, especially if it’s something that we’re interested in. And the sweetest part is the journey from A to B to C to D and finding joy in that accomplishment.

It’s important for people with ADHD to consistently have a project in motion. Frustration arises when there isn’t anything to keep the mind engaged. We need those moments of hyper-focus; activities that release neurotransmitters to create the focus that we desire.

To make the task more enjoyable, ask questions. This breaks the work down into bite-sized pieces. And if you have a project leader or boss, be sure to let them know about your focusing struggles. That way, you can get more direction after each step; not as micro-managing, but getting accountability set up for yourself.

But the project lifestyle isn’t all sunshine (unless you’re a heliologist). The ADDer needs to be aware that there will be a feeling of letdown upon completion of a project. I’ve noticed that I tend to go into a mild state of depression when I am between projects and lacking the focus and direction of being actively engaged in reaching a project goal.

Interestingly, for me this “letdown” happens when I return home from being on the road. For a long time my wife and I couldn’t figure it out. I love being home with my family. I would look forward to coming home and then I would get home and spend the next day or two feeling lost, disoriented and down.  Eventually, we came to understand that being on the road, was, in a way, a short-term project for me. The trip consisted of clear and sequential goals that I was comfortable achieving – travel to event location, set-up, speak, meet people, pack-up, spend night at hotel, travel home – and that coming home signaled the completion of the project. I was down not because I was home, but because a project had come to an end and I was left with an activity vacuum which my ADHD brain was not too fond of.

Now I know that after doing a series of shows, I need something to be already implemented when I get home, even if it’s just a planned day of rest. Though it can be a challenge to figure out how to focus on resting. I’m not so good at that.

Still, despite the risk of a letdown, the joy and reward of working on a project is well worth it. Start planning your project lifestyle, and you’ll probably find yourself hooked on getting good work done.

My special education teacher had me write out my spelling words so many times that my hand would cramp up. I loathed the process of repetition, but results showed true.

Now, repetition has proven itself, and I can’t say that I hate it. If I put in my reps, I can rely on them to help me recall and effortlessly do what I need to do, even when I’m tired or distracted.

Not too long ago, I took up boxing (I told you that I’m special – some people take naps to relax, me, I like to punch things (and people) ), and my coach has me doing the same drills over and over.

He growls, “Ben, I am teaching you this so that when you are in the ring and you are tired, your body will respond without you even having to think about it.”

This came to light during a recent sparring match. Coach had been getting me to “slip a right jab.” This is when someone throws a right jab at you, and you turn to duck it and counter-punch with a left hook. I was absolutely exhausted during the fight, and then it happened.

In the post-fight debrief, Coach asked me if I saw what I did. I didn’t because I was too tired. He said that I slipped a right jab and threw a left hook; he called it “perfect.” (I was just glad that I could stand upright.) And it was all due to repetition.

People wonder how I, an ADDer, can draw a picture in 12 minutes and 33 seconds or keep my thoughts in order while speaking. It’s because I have done the drawing and the speech so many times that I can probably do it in my sleep. Because I struggle with reading, I work hard to memorize Bible verses so I don’t have read in front of church groups. I turn to the page, but I don’t read it; it just cues me to recall the passage.

ADDers know what it’s like to have a scattered brain; repetition is definitely one of the things that can combat that scatter. Whether it’s music, athletics, performing, or anything else, we can use repetition so that when we’re tired and ADHD flares up, we can work off of instinct.

Practice does make perfect. And that’s something worth repeating.

I can relate. I need an outlet. I have a short fuse and have the capacity to explode like most ADDers. We unleash our energy in different ways. Some of us are physical, others are verbal, and others internalize it, which leads to internal explosion.

Explosions in movies are cool. And so are the ones in fireworks. But ours are almost never good. We need to channel that energy before it has the chance to do us or others harm.

Boxing has been an excellent outlet for all of my energy and especially on those days when energy and frustration are present at the same time. Like when I’m ready to deplane after that long 5 hour flight and some other passenger yanks their bag out of the overhead compartment and knocks me in the head. And to add insult to injury doesn’t even apologize. Those moments I am especially grateful that I have a punching bag waiting for me.

So, I encouraged Blake to find an outlet, with exercise being a perfect choice. The physical activity eat up a lot of energy, keeps you in shape, and releases endorphins. And if exercise is not your thing, there are plenty of other outlets like music, chess, fishing, or even crocheting (teach that yarn a lesson!). Whatever it is, just make it something that you love to do and will be happy about pouring your energy into.

Blake is learning to recognize whether he’s getting to the point of exploding. So, instead of hitting a wall, he hits up his friends to help him. In addition to finding your outlet, that’s probably the best thing you can do about your pent-up energy.

I travel with my good friend and mentor Larry. He knows me well enough to see when I’m reaching my boiling point and pulls me aside before I get there. He’s helped me learn how to let frustrations go and change my attitude and mindset. And he can do this because I’ve given him permission to do so in our friendship.

I know that Larry has my best interests in mind. He doesn’t do all of this to be condescending or critical. He says, “I want Ben’s goodness to be seen.”

That’s someone who I’m proud to have as a friend and teammate. I highly recommend choosing a friend to walk with you in this struggle. He/she needs to be someone that you trust, and you need to give them permission to step into your life and show you some tough love.

Managing our energy level and frustrations is not an easy task. Find your outlet and find your Larry. It might take time and some trial and error, but you’ll be glad that you did. It beats punching a wall, because to be honest – the wall wins about every time.

Title: Hobart School District
Location: Hobart, IN
Description: Teacher In-Service
Date: 2009-08-19

Had a blast at Hobart! What a great school you have – I wish my school had been so well designed! And those brick scupltures were super cool!

Peggy! Thank you so much for your passion and enthusiasm for education – it’s always great working with folks like yourself! And thanks for the totally unexpected “pitch” for my ADHD-friendly “brain bombs” – looking forward to your ideas on a good name for these nutritious energy snacks.

Tony, Alley, Kathy – you guys were a tremendous help! Thank you!

As far as getting some sample “brain bombs” – please check back in a couple of days – we’ll try and get something set-up in our store.

 You’ll be able to order samples and just pay shipping…for a little while anyway – the condition is that you complete a quick survey about your “experience” with the snack. I’m especially interested in parents with kids who have ADHD giving it a shot. I’d love to know if having one of these earlier in the day helps with concentration.

Let me know if you have any questions about it.

Have a great school year!

Title: Atherton High School
Location: Louisville, KY
Description: Teacher In-service (private event)
Date: 2009-07-31

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve spoken to a group of teachers, so yesterday was a real treat – nothing better than giving teachers a pep talk to kick off a new school year! I really hope you all enjoyed the presentation and that you will go into the school year with a sense of anticipation of how you can influence and impact so many young lives.

A big thank you for Donna Buttice of TCO speakers for booking the event and also to Paulette for pulling together all the details.

Title: Centers for New Horizons Conference
Location: Alsip, IL
Description: Conference for Day care Home Providers and Center Staff (private event)
Date: 2009-06-20

The Centers for New Horizons conference was a blast! It’s been a long time since I’ve had an adult audience with all the energy of a large group of middle schoolers, but you ladies know how to party! I got a little nervous when I took my jacket off to draw and there was whooping from the audience, but it’s all good.

Sabrina, Cheryl, thank you both for seeing to Larry and my every need. And Valerie, thanks for being such a go-getter – I know you were a little worried about all the requirements, but everything was flawless!

I hope everyone walked away encouraged and inspired – I know it was a pleasure to spend the afternoon with you all.

Have a great summer!

Title: 5th Annual Lakes Health Conference
Location: Okoboji, SD
Description: Continuing Ed event for healthcare professionals. Registration required.
Start Time: 8:30
Date: 2009-06-05

Had a great time at this event today, even if I almost did have a heartattack when I arrived into Sioux Falls thinking that I should have flown into Sioux City instead because those were the driving directions that my office had given me. It was stressful and freaky for about 2 minutes while I tried to figure out where I was and where I was supposed to be. In the end, I was at the right place and two hours later, I was checking into Arrowwood Resort in Okoboji. It would have been a long drive except that I was fascinated by all those electrical windmill thingies. Almost drove off the road a couple of times from staring at them for too long – they’re huge!! Major distraction too. I kept thinking about alien abductions and bees in a cornfield…don’t ask me why. ANYway, that there was what I like to refer to as an ADD Moment – total detour from my original thought which was to say how much I enjoyed the event and meeting all the fine people who made it possible.

A huge thank you to Marilyn and Rosie for putting it all together and for having the faith to book someone based on a recommendation and no first-hand experience – I’m glad that you guys were so brave! Massive kudos to Brendan Frasier…oh wait! I meant Nate, who took care of all of my A/V needs, going above and beyond! (Nate, man, I’m going to be watching The Mummy tonight – you inspired me!) My gratitude also to Peg and Berny, who were amazingly efficient at my table – they sold everything out!! Speaking off: I’ve had the office add the bundle I made available today to the store. Twenty five bucks including shipping…and if you leave me a nice comment, I will throw in an additional print as a thank you gift for stopping by!

It is always a pleasure to address health professionals from all different discplines and today was no exception! I hope that you guys remember the encouragement and take it to heart. Life is all about making a difference and you all certainly do that! Keep on, keepin’ on!

Title: McCormick Tribune Center For Early Childhood Education
Location: Chicago, IL
Link out: Click here
Description: Leadership Conference (registration required)
Date: 2009-05-16

What an awesome event this was! I’m about to run out and hop on a plane for a trip to NYC, but I did want to let you all know how much I enjoyed being a part of your event! I looooooove speaking to educators – it’s fun and gratifying on so many levels. Thank you all for attending and for wanting to be your absolute best. Paula, Donna – you guys are the best! Thanks for making it come togeter. And Lila, that was one of the most moving and memorable intros that I’ve ever gotten – WOW!

Here’s a little clip of our time together; remember: Teachers can make a huge difference in their students’ lives!

God bless you guys!

Educator Conference 09 from Ben Glenn, The Simple ADHD Xpert on Vimeo.